Friday, August 1, 2014

Life with 4. This is not a drill.......

I have been thinking a lot lately about siblings. Maybe because since adding our fourth child it has changed the "sibling" dynamic in our family. It's been funny, sweet, and overwhelming to watch. I say overwhelming only because when we load up the car, go to a restaurant or just to a target run I am a bit taken back how many of us there actually are.  I am constantly "game planning" in my head how we are all going to exit the vehicle ( this is when  D is not with me, oh how it is so much easier when he is with us. hehe)  If I have my teenager he is in charge of Regis- good match. He is strong and can unbuckle our tiny man and hold him. I wanted to cry happy tears last week when Regis had to pee in the drive thru of Wendy's and Clayton was with me and was able to walk him in and take him to the restroom! I wanted to do a dance around the parking lot! Moms of many- you feel me right?

I tease Clayton this is "The Duggar way" ( the Duggars have 18 kids, and a tv show we watch in awe that they can get so much done, thats a post for another day) 
So "The Duggar way " is every child is matched with a "buddy" they have to help, usually a "big" and a "little" He has jokingly called us "the duggars" now because we had to up size our family vehicle and well cause even though there are 4 kids, sometimes it sounds like there are 10! ( no lying,  momo be loud ya'll) 
Anyway- so just simple task like getting out the car can take a while. 

For EXAMPLE-
The strategy for when I DON'T have my teenager? 
I pray for a opening next the cart return, 
Hop out and grab a buggy
Get Regis out and put him in buggy
Go over to MOMO's side, crawl to the back and unbuckle her and pray regis doesn't roll away
she literally does a "trust fall" out of the car, you better catch her!

Yes Nicole helps but Momo is much too heavy for her. 
Momo walks along side the buggy and HAS to hold on or she may just take out a huge display of 
cell phone cases up in the Target.  (We Learned that the hard way) 

This is ONE example of how things have changed since adding a 4th. 
I could go on and on how things take longer, are a bit ( ok a lot) crazier since we became a family of 6. 

Last week after the ridiculous "someone stole my purse I am calling the police incident of 2014"
( yes this happened and my teenager found my purse in the kitchen where it had been all along, after I called the police in a crazy mom panic )

I met up with my fellow china adoptive moms ( who all have 4 kids ) 
 my 5 moms of 4, one mom of 3, crazy is what we live
 I took my opportunity to tell them "NONE of them had told me before hand I would loose my mind with having 4 kids" Everyone of them giggled and said yes- there is something about adding the 4th that simply makes you loose even more of your mind then you did with the addition of the other children.   Add on the addition of having a fourth with "needs" and I can best be described as "HOT MESS" most days.  
 Now moms of 5 and over please don't roll your eyes! I think we all have our "HARD" whether it be with 2, 3, 10, or 12 kids.  I am aware I still have it easier than some moms of many out there. But lets band together and agree even ONE child can be hard, just depends on how God has chosen to grow our family and I am very well aware these days he has a HUGE sense of humor and has had a lot of laughs at my expense lately. 
this wasn't even ALL the children between us  5 moms of 4 and one mom of 3, on our day of fun in Chatt. talk about crazy fun!
As I navigate this new world of 4 kids I am still learning how to juggle I am wondering how military moms make it, how mommas of several "special needs" children do it. How moms of 12 do it! Ya'll are my heroes! 
David and I now "game plan" everything we do. EVEN THEN we mess up, forget what the other one said and have to go over the plans of the day more than once.  The two older two have been renamed "the bigs" and our two youngest we call "the littles" this helps because I am now constantly getting EVERYONES NAME MIXED UP, good gravy there are only 4, you would think I could get it right.  ( I remember my mom doing this with just my sis and I and we eventually just became "KLEM" a combo of kim and Kelley, hehe)

David and I may have recently agreed to meet for dinner ( with only 3 kids mind you) after Momo's Physical and Occupational Therapy session only to drive to TWO different Long horns across town from each other. Both of us expecting the other to be there. Fun times- sometimes all you can do is laugh and move on.
That's become the theme around here.
"Laughter" has taken over the house and its kinda wonderful.
Among all the Crazy we are experiencing- 
the doctors visits, the unanswered questions, the sleep deprivation, the two football practices a day,  the ridiculous amount of laundry that one must have to step over in our house,  the adjustment to our "new normal" the overwhelming road ahead-

there is laughter.

Its the Laughter of 4 siblings, placed together by our heavenly father who's plans are BIGGER than I could have ever imagined.
One thing I have realized- I CAN do more than I ever thought, maybe it takes longer these days, maybe I do it now with no make up on ( this is huge) 
but the kids all have clothes on, hopefully shoes too.  
I know it is not thru any strength of my own but thru the Grace and strength HE gives me on a daily basis.  
So give us grace, when we drive up, a little late, in our "new to us" big ol LOUD "school bus like" family vehicle.....
Kids are inside who are all adjusting to our new family dynamic, and we have likely been at home laughing...

Moms of many, moms of 1, or moms of 17! I get ya, lets all agree motherhood is HARD however it comes. 
That mom of one may have a new baby who has never slept a night through in 6 months. Or maybe that new mom just adopted her first child and the child is having severe issues attaching or has many "needs" that are overwhelming. Maybe that momma of 2 has a daddy out on deployment and has been a "single mom the past year" maybe the mom you see with 3 has just learned her husband has lost her job and is drowning in sorrow. 
 Maybe these moms you see at the grocery store needs to hear " your doing great momma! keep up the good work" instead of you have your hands full and "are they all yours?"










When Someone tells me
"my hands are full"
I just reply
  "you should see my heart"


5 comments:

  1. Beautiful post, Kelley. You're doing great, momma! Keep up the good work! ;)

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  2. I love your sweet spirit, Kel! What cuties!

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  3. I love this post!! You made me tear up. :) I read through your blog archives because my husband and I are in the process of adopting our first kiddo, an 11 year old girl from Taiwan. I love learning from other moms! Thank you for sharing your story! Your entire family is just beautiful!

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  4. Thanks so much yall! you ALL inspire my heart!

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  5. Looking at the pictures, I can't believe how tall MOMO is! If it makes you feel any better, I have done the lost my purse and called the police -only to find it later and we always have a strategy of car/home/children. I need to add a little more laughter to our life to lighten the burden of crazy situations.

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